| A
year ago I decided to go into my community
and find young people whose lives demonstrate
"resiliency in action." I found that resilient
kids are everywhere, that secondary teachers,
college and university professors, youth agency
workers, community and church youth workers,
even my friends and neighbors all knew young
people whose lives put faces on the concept
of resiliency. I plan to include these faces
each issue, sharing the specific stories and
words of these resilient young people. I hope
you will do the same -- identify and publicize
the many young people in your community who
are resilient -- as one way to challenge the
prevalent but inaccurate stereotypes of kids
from "risk" environments.
Two
such young people are profiled below. In
interviewing them, I asked open-ended questions
about their lives and their overcoming of
adversity and about advice they wanted to
share with others. The themes that emerged
from the young people themselves were right
out of the research on resiliency, as well
as the research on drop-out prevention and
gang prevention.
Leslie
Krug's story documents the critical need
for caring and high expectations in schools,
as well as the power of one person -- in
her case, her mother -- who will not give
up on a child. She also testifies as to
the powerful influence of friends who themselves
have bounced back and are doing well.
Phil
Canamar's story shows the importance of
caring adults outside the family. As he
lists all the people who have contributed
to his resiliency we see the power of these
other "surrogates" in a young person's community
to make a difference, validating the research
of Gina O'Connell Higgins (1994) and other
resiliency researchers. His message confirms
much of what is known about why young people
get into gangs and offers inspiration about
how they can leave. He also comments on
the critical components of effective schools
that so many kids -- those who drop out
and those who don't -- note as missing in
traditional high schools. Finally, he demonstrates,
as Emmy Werner so beautifully describes
in this issue, the importance of spiritual
faith for many of those who are resilient.
|
Leslie
Krug: "I've Been In So Much Trouble
and I'm Still Here" |
Leslie
Krug went through ninth grade in a traditional
high school three times. A lot of her problems,
she said, began in sixth grade when her
dad died, which "hurt a lot." Though she
was sent to counseling, seventh through
ninth grade were years of skipping school,
drinking, and using drugs.
Her
message now: "I've been in so much trouble
and I'm still here." Today, at age 16, Leslie
is back in school and doing well. She was
one of two students selected, in fact, by
the school staff of the alternative school
she now attends to be featured as a "face
of resiliency." She is no longer using drugs,
and is contemplating a future as a small
business owner.
When
asked who helped her bounce back Leslie
credited her mom, her friends, her boyfriend's
parents, and the school she now attends.
She gave most of the credit to her mom.
"She just kept making me go to school. She
wouldn't let me drop out," Leslie said.
She reports that during her years of skipping
school and "hanging out" her mom got mad
at her for her behavior, but she never gave
up on her. No matter what, Leslie said,
her mom "was just always there."
Leslie's
advice to adults trying to help kids succeed
is, "Show that they care. They've got to
care."
An
absence of caring was a main reason Leslie
struggled in traditional school. One teacher,
she said, told her friends that one day
they would be driving Mercedes and BMWs
and Leslie would be working the window at
McDonald's.
And,
she reported, "there is so many drugs" around
traditional schools. If a student is doing
drugs, she added, "you're not going to do
them at school." So that is another reason
she skipped.
Leslie
stopped doing drugs because of the influence
of her friends, especially one, who stopped.
Seeing him stop, she said, made her realize
that it could be done. And seeing other
friends going to school and doing well provided
motivation for her to do the same.
She
also gives credit to the Albuquerque alternative
school she attends, School on Wheels. Leslie
said she feels that the teachers at this
school really care. "They're not here because
it's their job. They want to teach." She
added, "They treat you like things aren't
just going to happen for you. You've got
to work."
"They
make you responsible and the teachers care,"
are two main reasons Leslie said she is
doing well in school now. She also learns
things "useful for my life." One example
is discussions about racism in school curriculum.
"All you learn about is George Washington"
in traditional classrooms, Leslie said.
"Here they teach you more about Hispanic
heroes" -- information about her culture
she didn't get in school before. She said
classrooms work as teams, with cooperation
emphasized. And she gets a chance to pursue
one of her main interests -- art.
Leslie
looks forward to finishing her high school
credits at the local community college,
through an arrangement between her alternative
school and the college. "When we are 17
we can go to TVI and get our credits," she
said. Through attending TVI, she hopes to
pursue her goal of one day owning a small
business.
| Phil
Canamar: "I Feel the Pain and Anger
in Everybody's Heart that Joins a Gang" |
|
Phil
Canamar, 18, just wrote a grant proposal
to Honeywell asking the company for $80,000
to help "ten multicultural youth, to train
them in the logistics of making videos."
Besides attending school, he works in a
local organization dedicated to getting
youth involved in their own businesses,
funded by grants from the state of New Mexico.
He is looking forward to graduating from
high school next year, and pursuing his
passion of video production at the college
level.
Phil
has come a long way since he began using
drugs in middle school, robbed houses with
his friends in ninth grade, joined a gang
at age 16, dropped out of school, and ran
away from home.
Phil
said he has never known his father, whom
his mother divorced when he was three. He
lived until he was seven with his mother
and grandfather. Then, his grandfather died.
His mother had two other children, too,
and had to work full-time. He remembers
a childhood of being "treated like an adult...
cooking for myself, cleaning for myself...
and trying to be the father" for his brother
and sister.
Eventually,
about the time he was in middle school,
"I started hanging out with the wrong friends
and got into trouble." At first, Phil reported,
it was telling teachers off and smoking.
Then he began using drugs and drinking a
lot, partially because he was hanging out
with his older sister's friends. Then he
began the house robberies with his friends.
Getting caught, Phil said, taught him a
lesson -- "never do that again."
Phil
dropped out of school in tenth grade. He
said lot of teachers had the attitude when
he left of, "Well...see you later, bye."
"Some of them did care," Phil said. But
"many of them didn't want to help." They
thought, "Well, he deserved it."
After he dropped out, he hung around the
house for about a year, "a bum, just doing
nothing. I was looking for a job but no
one would hire me. I was only 16 and I had
dropped out of school."
He
and his mom eventually got into an argument,
during which she said, " "Go ahead. Go on.
Go out on your own.' So I packed my stuff.
I left." At age 16, Phil walked 40 miles
into Albuquerque.
Phil
moved in with a friend he had met years
before whose mom told him he could always
come there if he ever had problems. For
awhile he and his friend hung around, "smoking
weed, drinking beer." Then his friend's
mom started pressuring the boys to get jobs,
but "no one would hire us because we weren't
in school.
"Finally,
I said, "I'm gong to go try School on Wheels,"
Phil said. He had heard about the alternative
school from his sister years before. He
and his friend both decided to give it a
try. From his first encounter with the school
principal, Phil said his life began to change.
"He said, "Hey I remember you. You used
to go to my church. We'll see what we can
do about getting you in here because I know
you are a good kid.'" The principal told
Phil to call every day until there was an
opening at the school. "I called for three
or four weeks before I got in," Phil remembered.
Phil
began attending the school and moved in
with a man who had been a friend for years.
"My mom met him when I was nine at the State
Fair. She was always looking for a father
image for me and my brother. She said to
him, "Can you help me with my kids...take
them here or there or something?' and he
said sure, "I love kids, especially boys.
I always wished I had a boy.'" This man,
whom Phil calls Joe, has been an important
part of Phil's life since that time.
He
joined a gang, in fact, during a time when
his mom wouldn't let him see Joe anymore,
due to a misunderstanding. "It was at that
point in time when I said, "No one is here
for me, you know. I'm sick of it.' And I
turned toward the gang to find support.
"That's
the pain and anger I feel in everybody's
heart that joins a gang. They want to feel
accepted, you know, because they don't have
that going on in their home life. The mother
or father isn't there."
Phil
left the gang when he moved to Albuquerque.
It was helpful, he said, that "that gang
isn't here" though "everyone here in Albuquerque
says "Oh, you're Chicano, you must be in
a gang." Now, Phil said, "I just look at
them. I have a lot of love." And, he tells
them, "I'm here in peace."
In
addition to Joe and Joe's parents, whom
Phil calls "his elders" that give him care
and support, he credits School on Wheels
for his resiliency. "It was the structure
here, then the environment, then third,
but not least, Kathryn, my teacher. She
always gave me encouragement to take it
one day at a time."
Phil
likes the team work, cooperation, the fact
he has just one teacher, the experiential
activities, and the caring he feels at School
on Wheels. His advice to traditional schools:
"Interview teachers to see if they do care
about the students. And hire one principal.
Most schools have four principals and they
all have their own opinion of how to run
the school. All they're doing is making
chaos."
Finally,
Phil credits his Christian faith with helping
him through his difficulties. He said that
while many people have helped him along
the way, "God told me, "Take something of
them. Don't take the bad part. Take the
good part you like in them...take them with
you." Phil added, "They've all given me
a little piece, something that makes me
grow. The major one is Joe, then my teacher,
Kathy, my other teacher, Ron, my teacher
now, Ed. The school has helped a lot. And
where I'm working now. We're trying to get
at-risk youth involved in their own businesses."
Phil
said he wrote the grant to Honeywell so
he can offer something to other kids like
himself. His goal is his own video production
staff. He wants to give other kids this
invitation: "Hey are you guys bored? Are
you guys tired of gangs? Come over here.
I'll teach you about video, let's make a
video or a movie... let's make a music video."
The purpose of the organization, Phil said,
is "to give them meaningful stuff to do."
Phil's
advice to other kids like himself is, "Don't
drop out of school. Find an alternative."
And his advice to adults trying to help
kids is, "Take time out to see what they
need. Try to provide what they need. I'm
not sure if there is anything else to do."
 |
L.W.
Schmick: Overcoming and Challenging
the Label "At Risk Youth"
|
The
drop out prevention, resiliency, and treatment
literature is filled with research evidence
about the detrimental impact of negatively
labeling young people, adults, families,
and communities. This literature is also
rich with reports of how a single person
or opportunity can turn around the life
of a person, family, or community so labeled.
L.W. Schmick's story personalizes this research.
His wisdom, shared below, reiterates how
labels do the opposite of helping, and how,
in Bonnie Benard's words, resiliency is
often the result of "one person or
one opportunity or one caring family member,
teacher, or friend, who encouraged a child's
success and welcomed his or her participation."
When
L.W. Schmick was in middle school, he realized
he was in a class that "was different"
from other kids. By his freshman year in
high school, he knew that his classes were
for "at risk" students. Though
he says he "wasn't ever mad at teachers
for seeing that and being aware of that,"
he thinks the label was detrimental to himself
and his peers.
"Putting
an 'at risk' student in a separate class
just separates them more. And I think that's
what a lot of at risk students are trying
not to do [--be more separate]. I think
they should be blended in more so they are
not put in their own little group, "
L.W. explained.
One
of the results of being labeled, he said,
is that students feel since they've already
been labeled, why even try. He used to say
to himself, "It doesn't matter. I'll
be at risk. No big deal." He added,
"It just seemed like everyone was waiting,
watching for us to fail." He and his
peers felt that all their behaviors were
"under a magnifying glass."
L.W.
was labeled "at risk" after he
got into "a lot" of trouble in
fifth and sixth grade. He and his mother
had just moved to Maine from New York State,
and for him the move "was a big deal."
He had to leave his entire family behind,
including his father who had been divorced
from his mother when L.W. was only six months
old, but who was still an important person
in his life. His reaction to the move: "I
was big for my age, so I had older friends
around. I got in a lot of fights. I got
in trouble at school, and I didn't get along
with teachers very well." L.W. got
suspended from school in sixth grade.
He
says that in looking back at that time,
he realized one of the major reasons he
got into so much trouble was "I just
wanted to fit in...and it is pretty hard
to fit in when you're a six foot red head.
Blending into a crowd isn't the easiest
thing to do." This is one reason he
feels that being separated in middle school
into a class for tough kids only made things
worse.
He
was thrown off the middle school basketball
team "for being mean," he received
a lot of detention, and he started drinking.
L.W.
credits his parents with providing him with
some of what helped turn his life around.
He said he always felt unconditional love
and support from both of them. His mom stopped
working two jobs so she could be home when
he got home from school. His dad encouraged
him to find a vocation in life, which meant
staying in school. And L.W. himself said
he never seriously considered dropping out
of school because he realized that would
"be quitting and I don't like to quit."
His
life began to change his freshman year in
high school when he was forced to find new
friends (who were more connected to school)
because "all my other friends dropped
out." In fact, only 2 of the 15 students
in his "at risk" middle school
class--the class "no one really wanted
to mess with, the class for 'the bad kids'"--graduated
from high school. L.W. was one of the two.
And he graduated with the respect of his
teachers, his peers, and his community thanks
to a KIDS Consortium trained teacher (see
articles on KIDS Consortium in this issue)
to whom L.W. gives most of the credit. L.W.
said it is because of this teacher and the
opportunity this teacher offered to become
involved in a KIDS Consortium Project that
he is headed this fall to college to become
a teacher himself.
"In my sophomore year, I had an English
class with Brian Flynn,"who started
the ELF Woods Project at L.W.'s school (see
article on page ). "A lot of teachers
when they see an 'at risk' student, they
automatically distrust and they don't give
them some of the responsibilities they would
give other students...because they're 'at
risk' supposedly," L.W. said. But Brian
Flynn "showed me respect and trust.
He gave me a lot of power to take responsibility.
He said, "'If you want an inch, take
an inch. If you want a mile, take a mile.'"
And, he added, in Brian's's class, "I
wasn't set apart as different. I was able
to mix in. He saw me as just another person,
not as an 'at risk student.'"
When
asked what else about Brian Flynn was so
different than other teachers he had previously
had, L.W. added: "[Most] teachers see
students as students and they're above you
when they're teaching you and you listen
to what they say because that's what is
right. But Brian took a lot of what the
students had to say, and that's how we did
a lot of the things in the class. Someone
would say 'it would be better like this,'
so we'd try it like that. He shared his
power with us."
After
his experience in Brian's class, and working
on the ELF Woods Project, L.W. said he became
more involved with his community. And he
gained more respect for community, "for
all the hard work that it takes to do some
things." The experience of having some
of his work in the ELF Woods Project vandalized
also taught L.W. "how people hurt when
you destroy their things."
After
his sophomore year L.W. stayed involved.
He worked with the local National Guard
to put lights along a trail behind his school.
He worked with General Electric to get all
the equipment and with the city of Auburn
to get the permits.
And
after his work with the Elfwoods Project,
and his continuing service in his junior
and senior years, L.W. said, "That
'at risk' label had been erased. I liked
school more." Other people saw him
differently, he said, and when this happened,
"then I changed."
His
advice to teachers dealing with difficult
students: "I can see how teachers would
be a little weary of an 'at risk student.'
But it doesn't necessarily mean that we're
dumb or that 'at risk' [students] are less
able to do things, it just means that sometimes
for circumstances beyond their control they're
'at risk.' Which was my case, I think. So
try to treat us like you treat everyone
else."
Nan
Henderson, M.S.W., is an international trainer
on how to help yourself, your children,
or others you care about become more resilient.
She speaks to adults and youth on a variety
of topics connected to resiliency. She is
also the President of Resiliency In Action,
Inc., and the author/editor of five books
on the topic of fostering resiliency. She
can be contacted at nhenderson@resiliency.com
All
Phone inquiries 800-440-5171
(Outside US call (805) 640-6540)
Fax number (805)
640-6495.
FOR
BIOGRAPHY & PRESENTATIONS, CLICK HERE.
This
article and many others can be found
in the book
Resiliency In Action
(now in its fourth printing!)
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